I briefley mentoned before that Denise never played the piano again since the tragic day she lost her parents who were on their way to her college recital.   This was a touchy subject for her.  For many years we tried and wanted her to play again.  We (her friends and family) sought out therapists who we felt could maybe help her get through this but with no success.  

About 5 years ago we had our last conversation about this subject with her at a holiday gathering of some sort where the subject had come up once again. A friend of David's had informed him about a therapist in New York that had great success in getting people past mental blocks caused by tragic events in thier lives.  He felt that maybe this theapist could help Denise.  We proceeded to talk with her and amongst ourselves about. Looking back I can see how it may have been insensitive of us to do this,  but we really just wanted to help her knowing  how incredible she played and how much music ment to her.

This was probably the only time I ever saw Denise get really upset.  She practically screamed at us to drop the subject.  She said in a loud emotion filled tone something to the effect of  ..I will never be able to play again and that is that.  She broke down into tears and went into another room to be alone.  No one ever brought up the subject again in front of her.

 A few days afer Denise passed away I  went to her home in Costa Mesa, Ca and found what  looked to be a new keyboard.  Near it was some unfinished hand written sheet music. It appearred she had been working on something before she left for her trip with David and the kids.  My first thought was that maybe she had been playing for her own private enjoyment and I left it at that.

Over the last couple of weeks I have read many blog posts that people have sent me about her SecondLife.  I have had the opportunity to speak with some people who knew her very well.  I began to hear stories about her mentioning to them that she would perform on Secondlife.  Although I appreciate people sharing this with me,  hearing someone tell you someone said something is very diffrent than seeing what they wrote themself.    A few days ago  knowing that I wanted to find out more about this, a friend of Denise (Bliss Windlow) in Secondlife passed to me a note that had text copied directly from one of thier conversations just a few weeks ago.  Here is an excerpt..

This is very personal for the Williams family but David told me it would be ok to let people know about it.

This morning I awoke to find Denise's brother David sitting on the front steps here in the Honolulu home he and his sister grew up in.  He was in tears as could be expected after just loosing his sister, loosing his wife just a few months ago, and loosing his parents about 10 years ago.  Beside him was a care package of cheeses, coffees and assorted things of that nature.  In his hand was a hand written note.  

David handed me this note while saying "she never told me about this".  The following is what was written in the note.

Dear Mr Williams,  I heard through a freind in my church that your sister had recently passed away.  I am the man who's fault it was you and your sister lost your parents not too many years ago.  This is not a plea for forgiveness it is just something I wanted you to know about your sister in case she never told you.  

About three years after the accident she contacted me while I was in my last year in prison.  She told me that she forgave me and wanted to know if my family was alright.  I was a very bitter man at that time hating myself for what I had done and hating what hardship this had caused for my own family.  At first I did not want to accept her forgivingness I still was placing part of the blame for my predicament on your family.  I was wrong for doing that and your sister was persistant in trying to help me understand that I had made a mistake. She wrote me several letters and  I finally accept her forgiveness.   and was able to tell her how my family was struggling to survive without my income but that they were making it.  I am in tears myself while writing this to you but I need to tell you although understandably she told me she could probably not tell you that she was in contact with me, she wanted to help my family.  Until I was released  and working again she did aid us financially and even came to visit my wife and children while I was still in prison.  She sent me care packages for the remainder of the time I was in prison.  

Your sister was a one of a kind.  We didn't know her well but we knew her spirit of love and generosity was beyond anything most people could endure.  The example she set with this spirit of forgiveness has led me into becoming a changed man.  I got out of prison after serving what I myself feel was too short a time for the tragedy that I caused.  Because of the love that your sister showed I became a minister and now live a new life free of the drug and alcohol bondage that I was once in.

I am deepley sorry for what I did to your family.  Your parents raised people that the world needs more of.  I am deepley sorry that you have lost your sister, however I just wanted you to know that she changed my life and the lives of many other people who have heard the story of her forgiveness.

May God Bless Her Soul.

(name withheld for his privacy)

After I read this note I too cried because I miss Denise so much already.  David then said to me.  "if my sister was able to forgive him,  I will forgive him too."

Dan

When I was in college I became friends with David Williams.   We both started college a little later in life and were about 7 to 10 years older than the average student and we quickly bonded and became roomates.  David invited me to meet his family one Christmas in Hawaii.  We flew together from California to Honolulu and I will never forget the greeting we had at the gate from his only sibling and at that time seven year old little sister..  Denise.

  Denise had never met or spoke with me before however she instantly treated me as and told me I was her "extra brother". She seemed so excited to declare me as another brother  I remember how she looked up at me  with these huge sparkly full of life eyes while placing a lei around my neck said something like "my brother is a role model for me.  You have follow in his footsteps if your going to be my extra brother ok?"

Over the years I became very close to the Williams Family and I got to know Denise very well.  I came to realize that she was a unique individual in the way that she never seemed to want to blend in with the other kids however, she seemed hell-bent on wanting them to know what it was she cared the most about.  She never seemed to worry about herself but only others from a very young age.  I think she was about 12 years old when she was running around her neighborhood of Pacific Heights with a few other kids trying to save stray animals and find homes for them.   By 13 she was taking time to go and help feed the homeless in Honolulu's soup kitchens.

Her brother and I shared an apartment in California for a few years and starting when she was about 14 we had her come over for a couple of months during the summers. We took her to rock concerts we enjoyed attending and she got to hear some of the popular bands of the era that were a genra that she probably would not have heard otherwise.  She fell in love with music.  She was inspired to learn to play the piano and began to seriously study music while still in high school.  She was a natural and it really worked for her to spend so much time on music.  She didnt really fit in with the other kids in high school.

Denise entered college on a music scholarship and showed a tremendous amount of talent as a classical pianist.  Her music professors decided to showcase her talent and setup a recital for her to perform solo.  Everyone who knew her and her family were excited to attend this event when just a couple of hours before it was to begin,  tragedy struck the Williams family.

A drunk driver had run into and killed David and Denise's parents on their way to this recital.  Denise had always been close to her parents and loved them dearly.  She was in shock from this event for almost a year.  During that year she hardley uttered a word to anyone and after months of therapy we finally got her back. Unfortunately she never was able to play piano again.

Denise finished college with a degree in hotel management/hospitality.  During her college years she did some internships in Atlanta, Ga for CNN and also in New York City where she interned for a popular tv talk show which I dont remember the name of at the moment.  After graduating she went on to work for a major hotel chain where she lived in Scottsdale AZ, Miami Fl, and New York City among other places.  Denise was in NYC on 9/11 and she was profoundly effected by the tragedy just as so many others were.

I was fortunate to get tot spend a little time with Denise as an adult in California when she moved here a few years ago.  It wasn't always easy to be around her as we would be on our way to lunch or a concert or something and she would see a stray dog and have to get it to a shelter or adoption center of some sort,  dropping everything we were doing to complete the task.  She would see homeless people and bring them to dinner with us!  One time I remember her renting an apartment for a homeless family for a few months to try and help them get back on their feet.  She was easily distracted when she saw someone or something who needed help.  This often made it hard for her to be on time and punctual for events or her appointments but she never seemed to care about that.

A couple of years ago Denise was diagnosed with a genetic form of kidney disease that caused renal failure and made it necessary for her to live on dialysis treatments.  This caused enormous hardship to her active lifestyle but it didnt not slow her down as she had found a place on the internet called Secondlife where she continued to work in charity and promoting music and independent musicians the best that she could.

Denise's brother wanted to donate a kidney to her but he was not the kind of match they needed so they entered in to a paired kidney exchange program where he could donate his to someone who had a donor that was a match for her.  She had this transplant almost exactly 1 year ago. She recovered from the surgery quickly and was well on her way to living a normal life again. Naturally she became a huge proponent of organ donor awareness and especially how beneficial it would be if there were an international paired kidney exchange database.

When her parents were killed the family was involved in a lawsuit that Denise wanted nothing to do with.  She had a great disdain for the trappings of money and when she received her trust she gave pretty much all of it to a hosptial in West Africa that she heard about. For the last 10 years or so her trust funds had been redirected to this hospital where unfortunatley some unscrupulous people had been misusing some of these funds to the point where the US government decided that all of her years of donations were no longer valid as a tax wrtie off.  The IRS then claimed she owed them hundreds of thousands of dollars.

The IRS not only said she owed them all this money but they even threatened to indict and imprison her for tax evasion. Denise fought a battle in court over the last several months of her life.  She won the case.  Then just a few weeks later is when she left on a trip around the world with her brother who had just recently lost his wife.   Denise wanted to spend time with her brother and be there for his two young children to help fill the void that their mother had left when she passed.  She also saw an opportunity to talk to people all over the world about Paired Kidney Exchange and try to promote the idea of an international database.

I believe that those precious days and weeks she did get to spend with them will have a life long lasting effect on those children. Denise was showing her family, and anyone who cared to listen how to do some good in the world any way that she could.  She was able to talk to some of the people who organized the World Health Summit in Berlin and was hoping to be able to present her idea at this summit next year.

Between visits to museums and historical sites around Europe and North Africa Denise dragged her brother and his kids along  to small hospitals and dialysis treatment centers and talked to as many people as she could.  Trying to bring change,  trying to bring hope.  She was taking pictures and writing a journal which she had planned to publish and somehow use to help create awarenes.  I hope to be able to use this information to continue this project for her in some way.

We lost Denise yesterday Saturday  Nov 20, 2010 at 8:05 am.  She had been in a coma for almost a week and they had just got her back from Dubai where she fell ill.  Her Doctor said that her heart just was not able to take the stress of a kidney failing and they could not revive her from cardiac arrest.

In her last hours she was upgraded from a level 10 to an 11 on the glasgow scale of coma thanks mostly to the people who spoke to her over the internet and music of Secondlife which I am so grateful we were able to bring to her at her hospital bedside.  Tears came from her eyes that night.  Maybe tears because somehow her spirit new her body was not going to hold on..  maybe tears of joy that she got to spend with her family and freinds in the real world and the digital world she was so much  part of. Maybe both. 

Denise we will all miss you terribly. May your star shine forever.  You were the closest thing I have ever met to an angel.

Dan

Denise was known on SecondLife as Delinda Dyrssen.  One of her freinds dedicated a song to her today that brought me to tears when I heard it.  you can listen here if you would like.   

http://slimwarrior.blogspot.com/2010/11/this-is-for-you.html

Memorial Arrangements

Denise's family has decided to hold a private ceremony on Tuesday Nov 23rd, 2010 for her in the back yard of the house she grew up in near Honolulu.  Her body will be cremated and some of her ashes spread over the North Shore of Oahu were she loved to sail.  The remainder of her ashes will be spread over the Sahara Desert of Tunisia were she just recently went to visit for the first time.  She seemed to have an affinity to that place and she told her brother she would definitely be coming back there again.

Denise's  favorite and most recent charities... 

If you would like you may send a donation in her name (Denise Williams) to KDIGO and/or Shay Kelly of Project 50/50 who inspired her more than she (Shay Kelly) would ever know.

If you knew Denise as herself or as her avatar  Delinda Dyrssen in Secondlife,  I would love to hear more stories about how she may have annoyed, may have made you laugh or may have inspired you.  You can email me at danbcomputer@gmail.com